


What Am I Doing Hangin' 'Round?

by scruffandyarn



Series: Missing Links [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, I should probably put my toys away before I break them, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:31:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5099276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scruffandyarn/pseuds/scruffandyarn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>But I guess your chances come but once and boy I sure missed mine<br/>And still I can't stop thinkin' when I hear some whistle cryin'<br/>What am I doin' hangin' 'round?</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	What Am I Doing Hangin' 'Round?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure I made this any better than the last one. But, I might (because my muse is a fickle bitch and likes to play with me) have an idea for another part. Let me know if you're interested.

_All hands on deck._

You would have rolled your eyes at the cliche if the circumstances weren’t so fucking dire.

 

You cocked your head to the side before accepting the incoming call.  “Bobby?”  

“______, you need to get here, now.”

What?  “Bobby, I’m right in the middle of a werewolf hunt right now.  Can you give me a few days?”

“No.  Something’s happened.”  He sighed.  “It’s Sam.”

Your breath caught in your throat.  Bobby knew well enough not to fuck around with you about Sam.  “On my way.”

 

You growled as your knocking went unanswered for the second time.  Something wasn’t right.  You drew your gun and drew in a deep breath.  

“Alright.  Fuck this shit,” you swore to yourself before taking a step back and kicking the front door open.  “Bobby?!”

“Jeez Louise, girl!  Why the hell’d you go and kick my door open?”  Bobby was suddenly in your line of vision.  “And how about you don’t aim that thing at me?”

“Sorry.”  You shook your head clear and reholstered your gun.  “What’s going on with Sam?”

“Well, listen.  Maybe I need to give you a little backstory here.”

“Bobby–”

“I mean, I ain’t been completely upfront about what’s been going on.”

“Bobby–”

“It’s just–”

“Bobby!  Damn it, man.  Is he dead?”  The catch in your voice revealed more than you’d intended to.  Still, you couldn’t help the panic that had your blood turning to ice.

“No.  He ain’t dead.  But Lucifer’s out.”

“Lucifer?”  Bobby just stared at you.  Your brain began running ninety miles an hour.  “Lucifer?  As in, Satan?  The Dark Prince?”

“Beelzebub himself.”  Bobby shook his head.  “I’m sure you’ve noticed the drastic increase in hunts.”

“And those were what?  Signs of the Apocalypse?”  He had to have been drinking.  No way was any of that shit real.

“Seals.  They were being broken.  Sixty-six of them, to be precise.  And now Lucifer walks among us.”

“Not possible, Bobby.”  You walked past him, towards his liquor cabinet.  It must be bad when a person needs a drink from listening to someone else’s drunken hallucinations.  “If Lucifer exists, then that means angels exist.  And they fucking don’t.”

If they did, they would have answered all those prayers of yours.  The ones about your mom.  And Sam.

“You ever work a case with a body on top of wing marks on the ground?”

You paused, your drink halfway to your lips.  How the hell did he know about that?  “A while back.  Still–still haven’t figured out what killed her.”  It didn’t make sense.  A triangular shaped blade had been stabbed through her throat.  Giant wing marks on the ground behind her.

“She was an angel.  Or, rather, the vessel of an angel.”

You threw back the shot and grimaced.  “OK.  Let’s say I believe you.  Or let’s say I don’t.  What does this have to do with Sam?”

“Demons were working to free Lucifer.  Sam–he went after the leader, Lilith.  Apparently, she was gonna break the last–”

“Did you say Lilith?”  You felt all the blood rush from your face.  “The demons–I ran into a demon a while back.  He mentioned something about her right before I exorcised him.  Said she was coming.  And that she was going to destroy the world.”

“Well, apparently, she succeeded.  Sam couldn’t stop her, and she broke Lucifer out of his cage.”

“Holy fuck.”  There was no way all of this was a coincidence.  The wing marks, the demon, Lilith.  Then that meant… “Lucifer.”

“Yeah.  And we’re up shit-creek without a paddle.”

“Is Sam OK?  What about Dean?  Where are they, Bobby?  Are they OK?  Oh my god.”  All you could think about was how, the last time you’d seen either of them had been four years before.  Why the fuck hadn’t you contacted them before now?

“They’re fine.  Sort of.”

“What do you mean, sort of?”

“I’m on my way to them now.  How about I fill you in on the way there?”

“Let’s go.”

 

“Demon blood.”

Could this night get any weirder?  First, Bobby starts talking about Lucifer being on Earth, then, you’re riding around in the Impala without Dean or Sam behind the wheel.  Now, he’s telling you that Sam had been drinking demon blood?

“Yeah.  He’s been shacking up with this demon–Ruby.  She’s had him convinced he could stop Lilith as long as he kept drinking her blood.”

“Shacking up?  You mean…what happened with Jess?”  Would there be no end to the list of women Sam would rather be with than you?

“Oh, boy.  You have been out of the loop for a while.”  Bobby shook his head.

“I’m sorry.  When the hell was it deemed that my life revolve around the Winchesters?”  You’d had to distance yourself, and you weren’t going to apologize for it.  It was either that, or drive a stake through your heart after all Sam had put you through.

“Whatever happened, ______, it’s over.  Right now, there ain’t no room for holding past grudges.”

You sighed, knowing he was right, but certainly not happy about it.  “What happened with Jess?”

“You remember that yellow-eyed bastard that killed Mary?”

You closed your eyes.  You hadn’t thought it possible, but you felt your heart breaking all over again, for Sam.  The girl he’d wanted to marry had died by the same hand that had taken his mother away from him.  You weren’t sure whether you wanted to cry or vomit at what he must have gone through.  “Yeah.  I remember.”  Your voice was little more than a whisper.

“Been hunting with Dean ever since.  Well, except for the few months–you know what, not important right now.  What is important is that we get to Dean and Sam.  The only way to get rid of Lucifer is through the Michael-sword.”

“Michael-sword.  Like, Archangel Michael?”  You looked over at Bobby.  “Seriously?”

“That’s what Chuck says.”

“Who the hell is Chuck?”

“Chuck is…from what I understand, Chuck is a prophet.  Writing the Winchester gospels.  You’re apparently in the first book.”

“I’m what?”  Was there any part of this that actually made sense?  “I’m in a fucking book?”

“Anyway, Chuck sent the boys a message through a fan of the books or something.  Dean said she wouldn’t stop feeling up on–again, not important.”

“Bobby,” you rubbed your temples, trying to absorb everything he was telling you.  “Why’d you call me?  None of this sounds like anything I’m equipped to handle.”

“All Dean told me was that Lucifer’s busted out and they need to find the Michael-sword.  No idea what’s happened to Ruby, but I’m hoping, if she’s still with Sam, you can get through to him.”

“If Dean couldn’t get through to him, then I know I won’t.”

“Try, please?  I’m grasping at straws here, ______.  Maybe use those feminine wiles of yours to–”

You barked out a laugh.  “Feminine wiles?  Bobby, I don’t mean anything to him anymore.  Maybe I never really did.”  

He glanced away from the road to shoot you a pleading smile.  Shit, you’d really lost your edge if this was getting to you.

“Fine.”

 

“Hey Bobby.  And…______?”  Dean stared at you with a look of wonder.  “My god, ______.  What the hell are you doing here?”

“I brought her here, idjit.”  Bobby rolled his eyes.  “Good to see you boys all in one piece.”

“Hey, Dean.”

He looked older than the last time you saw him.  Way older than he should look for it only having been four years ago.  Something had happened to him.  You weren’t sure what, but it clearly affected him.

“God, it’s good to see you.”  You had just enough time to set down the bag you’d carried up before he grabbed you around the waist and held you to him.  “Missed you, little sister.”

“______?”  Sam–his voice sounded so…hopeful.

“Hey.”  You nodded in his direction as you stepped back from Dean’s embrace.

When you finally got a good look at Sam, you stopped short.  Something was wrong with him.  You didn’t know how to explain it in words, but just…the hairs on the back of your neck instantly bristled.  If Bobby and Dean hadn’t been there, you’d have probably assumed this was a shifter standing in front of you.  Because this was definitely not Sam.  Not the Sam you’d known.  Not the Sam you’d loved.

“You weren’t followed, were you?”  Dean glanced out the door of the room before shutting and locking it securely.

“You mean, by angels, demons, or Sam’s new superfan?”  Bobby grinned and the other men chuckled.  It wasn’t until they realized you were staring at them with a questioning look on your face that they immediately schooled their features.

“So, Sword of Michael, huh?”

“You think we’re talking about the actual sword from the actual archangel?”  Dean cocked an eyebrow.  “I mean, I know all the other angels are talking about how Michael’s gotta be the one to do this, but his sword?  Seriously?”

Angels.  On the way, Bobby had explained the angel situation a little bit better.  He’d brought up all the recent natural disasters–how frequent and overlapping they were.  

Something of biblical proportions was coming.  And unless the four of you could stop it, everyone was going to die.

“You better friggin’ hope so.”  Bobby walked over and snatched up the bag you’d brought.  “Got all the stuff on angels I could find.  Let’s see what we can figure out.”

You, Bobby, and Sam sat around the only table in the room.  After a bit of nudging from Bobby, you moved next to Sam, shaking your head when you felt him tense when you brushed against him.  Bobby was barking up the wrong tree if he thought you’d be able to help.

“That’s Michael.”  Bobby pointed to the picture in the book he’d opened.  “Toughest sumbitch they got.”

Dean leaned in, looking over Bobby’s shoulder.  “You kidding me?  Tough?  Guy looks like Cate Blanchett.”

You snorted out a laugh.

“Well,” Bobby shot you a look, “I wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley.  Believe me.  He commands the Heavenly Host.  During the last big dust-up upstairs, he’s the one who booted Lucifer’s ass to the basement.”

The look on Sam’s face…how did he know just what to do to make you feel for him?  He looked so completely devastated.

“Did it with that sword.”  Bobby pointed back to the page.  “So if we can find it–”

“We can kick the devil’s ass all over again.”  Sam glanced over at you before turning to Bobby.  “Alright.  So where do we start?”

“Divvy up and start reading.  Try and make sense of Chuck’s nonsense.”

Sam nodded and pushed himself up from the table.  He kept his gaze down as he moved around you towards the bed.  Did he feel guilty about not being able to stop Lilith?  Because he had to know, no one blamed him–she was a powerful demon, and him–well, he was only human.  You couldn’t hold it against him.

“Kid?”  Apparently, Bobby noticed his demeanor was off as well.  “You alright?”  Bobby glanced over at you.  

Was this an effect of the…fuck, you hated to even think the words…demon blood?

Sam sighed and then turned to face you and Bobby.  “No, actually.”  His gaze dropped a little, like he couldn’t look either of you in the eye.  “Bobby, ______, this is all my fault.  I’m sorry.”

“Sam–” Dean tried to interject.

Sam kept going.  “Lilith didn’t break the final seal.  Lilith was the final seal.”

What?

“Sam, stop it.”  Dean moved to stand between you and Sam.

“I killed her, and I set Lucifer free.”

“You what?”

“You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood.  But I didn’t listen.  I brought this on.”

Bobby stood, leaving you to sit, completely dumbfounded.  Sam.  The boy you’d loved.  He was standing there, admitting that because of what he’d done, he’d effectively signed all of your death warrants.

“You’re damn right you didn’t listen.”  Bobby moved closer to Sam, his voice heavy with emotion.  “You were reckless and selfish and arrogant.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, yeah?  You’re sorry you started Armageddon?  This kind of thing don’t get forgiven, boy.”

You swallowed, hard.  You didn’t want to feel sorry for Sam.  He’d broken you so completely that you were sure you’d never be back together.  And now he’d killed everybody because of some shit choices he’d made.

But for some reason, you couldn’t help feeling like he didn’t deserve this.

“If, by some miracle, we pull this off–I want you to lose my number.  You understand me?”

You saw Sam nod and you had to squeeze your eyes shut.  You knew what Bobby meant to him.  And you just couldn’t face seeing him looking like his heart was being ripped out.

“There’s an old church nearby,” Sam’s voice was low and quiet. “Maybe I’ll go read some of the lore books there.”

“Yeah.  You do that.”

You didn’t open your eyes again until you heard the door shut behind Sam.  Bobby and Dean were looking at each other.  Then they turned towards you.

None of you knew quite what to say.

“You OK?”  Dean asked finally, taking the seat next to you.

“Sure.”  You nodded, quickly turning your attention to the book still on the table, hoping no one would notice the tears forming in your eyes.

“Not that I’m not glad to see you, ______, but it’s been four years.  What are you doing here?”

“Bobby thought I could help with Sam.  If he’s still hooking up with Ruby…”

“Yeah, no.  She’s dead.”

“Good.”  You both heard Bobby mutter under his breath.

“You still love him, don’t you?”

The whimper you let out was completely involuntary.  You still didn’t look up from the book–until you felt Dean pull you into a hug.  That’s when the dam broke and you choked on a sob.

“It’s gonna be OK, ______.”

“Only if we find this damned sword.”  Bobby finally joined you at the table, dropping the books he’d gathered with a thud.

“Look, why don’t you go see if you can help Sam?  Bobby and I can handle these books.”

You shook your head.  You were in no condition to see Sam now.

“Please?  Just make sure he stays outta trouble.”  

Bobby opened his mouth to say something, only to shut it when Dean looked over at him.

You sighed, knowing there was no use in arguing.  “Fine.”

 

“Sam!”  You tried to approach him as casually as possible.

He stopped and turned at the sound of your voice.  You could see his face light up momentarily, before he hunched his shoulders.  “Dean send you out here to keep an eye on me?”  As soon as you’d caught up with him, he started moving again.

You didn’t have a good reply, so you just tried to keep up.

 

An hour into looking through the church books, Sam still hadn’t spoken.  Maybe, like you, he just had no idea what to say.

“I, uh…I finally got to kill a wraith.”  

He looked up at you, confusion evident.

“Yeah.  Last year.  Wasn’t easy.  Damn thing nearly got me, but I managed, in the end.”  You held your arm out, pointing out the scar that ran from your elbow to midway down your forearm.  “See?”

“Stop.”  He lowered his gaze.

“Stop what?”

“This–talking to me, like I didn’t just fuck over every person on the planet.  I don’t deserve it.”  

“Sam,” you frowned.  “I’m trying, here.  Could you try, too?  At least, a little?”

“What do you want me to say?  You want me to sit here and smile and make small talk, completely ignoring the fact that I just killed everybody?”

“We’re gonna fix this.”

“Yeah?  How?”

“Damn it, Sam!”  You slammed your hands down on the table.  “Because we have to.”

“Because of what I did.”

“OK, fuck this shit.”  It no longer mattered that you were sitting in a church.  The kid-gloves were coming off.  “Yeah, you screwed up.  Newsflash, Sam, it happens.  But if you’re just gonna sit there and have the world’s biggest pity-party, then I’m going to kick your ass.”

He just nodded and lowered his head.

“No.  Look at me.”

His eyes flickered up to yours, then dropped.

“Sam Winchester, you look me in the eyes right now.”  When he didn’t, you sighed in frustration.  “Alright, fine.  Well, then make sure you’re listening.  No matter what shit you’ve done,” you swallowed, “or haven’t done, you are a good man.”

Still, he said nothing.

Growling in frustration, you pushed out of your chair.  “I’m gonna go get some more books.”

At the shelves, you mindlessly grabbed a few books.  All that was really running through your mind was frustration.  But you should be used to that by now.  For years, the only thing that accompanied the thought of Sam Winchester was frustration.

You returned to the table to find Sam in the same position you’d left him.  Head down, eyes glued to the book in front of him.  You plopped down, ungracefully, needing to get back to the task at hand.

“I’m sorry.”

You looked up from the book you’d been staring at for nearly ten minutes.  “It’s fine, Sam.  You tried and it backfired.  We’ll fix this.”  You returned to your reading.

He heaved a sigh.  “No, I mean…well, yes, but…I’m sorry about Palo Alto.”

You could feel his gaze on you, only now, it was you who couldn’t look up.  “S’fine.  Just–it doesn’t matter.  It’s fine.”

“It does matter.  I hurt you.  I just…”

You glanced up as he closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I was going to call you.  As soon as I got an apartment and a phone, I was gonna call you and you were gonna be with me and…I didn’t.  I didn’t, and I don’t know why.  And it was like, the next thing I know, there you are with Dean.  I hated how close the two of you seemed.  But I had no right to feel that way.”  His eyes met yours.  

“Sam–”

“Dean tried to get me to call you, but I couldn’t.  I didn’t even know how to begin to apologize for what I did.  Anything I could come up with just sounded like some piss-poor excuse and you deserved better than that.”

You pursed your lips.  What were you supposed to say?  You’d spent years trying to piece yourself back together after having your heart crushed by this man.  Did you even want to forgive him for what he’d done to you?

“It happened.  We can’t change it.”

“Did you…did you ever get out?”

You cocked an eyebrow.  “You mean, out of hunting?”  You sighed when he nodded.  “No.  I tried for about a week.  Took a job as a waitress down in Georgia.  Didn’t stick, though.  I couldn’t–I couldn’t just pretend I didn’t know what was out there.  Couldn’t just ignore the people who needed my help.”

“Oh.”

The sudden spike in tension between the two of you caused your stomach to drop.  You bit your lip.  “I don’t think we’re gonna find what we’re looking for, here.  And…and I’m getting kinda hungry.  Maybe we should regroup with Dean and Bobby and then start fresh after getting some food.”

He sighed.  “Yeah.”

 

Something was going on behind the door to the hotel room you’d left Dean and Bobby in.  And from the sounds of the thuds against the walls, it wasn’t anything good.

“Get behind me, ______.”  Sam didn’t wait for you to comply voluntarily before shoving you back.  He threw the door open.  “No!”  You watched him run in just to get slammed in the head by the room’s phone.

“Fuck.”  That was Bobby on the floor.  God damn it.  

You ran in, only to get your feet kicked out from under you.  As soon as you hit the ground, you rolled, your mind quickly assessing the situation.  Two demons?  Bobby was down, Sam was trying to shake off the blow to his head and Dean was currently grappling with one of the demons.

“Heya, Sammy.”  The demon in the female form spoke to him with such familiarity.  “You miss me?  ‘Cause I sure missed you.”

Was this Ruby?

“Meg?”  Sam knew demons by name?  He could sense them through their meatsuits?

What the hell was he?

Get it together!  You pushed yourself up and moved over to Bobby.  Before you could reach him, two arms clamped around your sides and flung you back against the wall.

“______!”

“Oh, is this ______?“ ‘Meg’ purred, her hand around your neck, keeping you pinned. "I remember all those lovely thoughts you had about her when I hitched a ride, Sam.  You were so angsty over this one.” She shook her head at him mockingly. “Wonder how torn up you’d be if I reached down her throat and pulled out her lungs, hmm?”  She tightened her grasp and grinned coyly at him.  “Or maybe she can burn on the ceiling just like your mommy and Jess.”

“Bitch!” Sam tackled her, knocking the three of you sideways. But at least, you were free.

You whipped around to see Dean just as he stabbed the other demon. What the hell was he thinking? That wasn’t gonna kill the…did the guy just spark up from the inside?  

The demon fell to the ground at Dean’s feet. “Sam!” Then Dean was stalking towards where Sam and Meg were still trying to overpower each other.

That left you to run over to Bobby. You pressed your fingers to his neck–still beating, but it wasn’t very strong.  Practically ripping your jacket off, you pressed it against the stab wound in his stomach.

“Dean! Sam!” You looked over to see the demon Meg leave her meatsuit in a cloud of black smoke.

“Is he–”

“We need to get him to a hospital. Now.”

 

You elected to stay behind with Bobby when the brothers took off after the Michael-Sword.  After all, somebody needed to hang around and answer those questions the nurse had threatened about.

So you were now Bobby’s niece, and the boys who’d run out of the hospital were your brothers.  The three of you had gone by to check on him–being a close-knit family, when he hadn’t been heard from in a couple of days–your mom was worried and sent the three of you over.  You’d found him in an alley near his home, no idea how he got there or what happened, just that he had been stabbed.  

Then, of course, the police came.  When Bobby was conscious, he corroborated the story you’d fabricated.  Said he couldn’t give them a description of the guy who’d mugged him, just that he was about the same height as him.  When the police started pressing, you broke into masterful fake tears, screaming at them to leave your uncle alone.  He hadn’t done anything wrong, and that they shouldn’t be treating him like some sort of criminal when he was clearly the victim.  Neither of the men seemed inclined to deal with your hysterics, so they thanked Bobby for his time, left him a card, and told him to call if he remembered anything that could help them catch his mugger.

“Not too shabby on the acting there, ______.”  Bobby smiled as soon as the door closed behind them.

“What the fuck happened, Bobby?  How the hell did demons get into the room?”

He worked his jaw.  “I think the better question is…how did a demon get inside me?”

“What?”

“Yeah.  Happened maybe a half hour before I called you.  Tried to keep from answering the door.  Hoped you’d figure it out when you came busting in.”

Fuck.  That meant you’d spent nearly twenty-four hours with a demon and you’d never even noticed.  What the hell kind of hunter were you?

“Hold up.  You were possessed before you called me?  Then you weren’t–you had no intention of calling me and getting me involved in all this.”

“______, I know you got a history with Sam.  And I know you’re still hurting over it.”

You couldn’t deny it.  So you opted for saying nothing at all.

“As much as I think the two of you should hash out whatever happened between you, it ain’t my place to pull a stunt like this.  And honestly, if I’d thought you could have gotten between him and that demon bitch, I’d ‘a called you long before now.”

That was even worse than not noticing a demon had been riding around in him.  That meant you’d been played by a demon and nearly got everyone killed because you weren’t smart enough to figure it out.

“Listen here, girl–I see you berating yourself right now.  Don’t.  Sam and Dean didn’t figure it out either, even when that SOB told Sam to lose my number.”

“I should have seen it, Bobby.  Should have picked up on something.”  Now, you really were close to tears–angry at yourself for not seeing it sooner.  But damn, this was a pity-party and you needed to suck it up.  “How’d you wind up stabbed, then?  Did Dean–”

“No.  Bastard was trying to make me kill Dean, but I got the jump on him.  Stabbed myself before I could kill him.”

“That knife.  Dean used it to stab one of the demons.  What the hell kind of knife is that thing?”

“Demon knife.  Kills demons.  Don’t do much for their meatsuit either, if this is any indication.”  He gestured to himself.  “Sam picked it up.  From…Ruby.”

“Great.”  You ran a tired hand down your face.  “It’s great seeing you, Bobby–”

“______–”

“–but if it’s all the same to you, I think I’d like to be gone before they get back.  I don’t really wanna have to deal with the fall-out when they realize I should have done something to save you.”  You grabbed your bloody jacket from the chair.

“Damn it, ______.  Sit down.”  He nodded towards the chair.  He waited until you sank down on it before continuing.  “I think–I think the demons did something.  I know Sam, and I know he ain’t a saint, but–I think whatever happened between the two of you…well, it wasn’t something either of you could control.”

“Great.  Well, that just means I’ve been played by a demon for seven fucking years instead of just the past day.”

“You idjit, it means whatever happened, neither of you wanted it to happen.”

“Doesn’t mean we just get a reset button, Bobby.  Maybe neither of us wanted it to happen, but it did.”  You shrugged.  “It happened, and we face the consequences.”

“Are you hearing me?  That demon called you.  That demon wanted you here.  Something big is in the works here, ______.  And like it or not, your name’s on the roster.  It’s been there for a while, but they’re only now putting you into the game.”

“Then I need to take myself out of play.  Before I screw up again and get someone else hurt.”  You stood and hurried to the door before he could say anything else.  “Besides, there’s still a werewolf out there with my name on it.”

“______–”

“Help them save the world, Bobby.  My mess with Sam isn’t yours to fix.”  You flashed him a sad smile before slipping out of the room.


End file.
